PERIMENOPAUSE DEPRESSION AND SILENCE

Hey Girlfriends!

 

Where did October go?  I just realized that I hadn't blogged in quite a while.  SILENCE.  Why did I go so long?  Why was I so silent?  What was God doing in my life?

My perimenopause depression brought me to my knees and drove me to seek God as never before. As the darkness of depression filled me with fears and unanswered questions, threatening my peace I became lonely and didn’t understand what was going on in my life.  The SILENCE felt more like a bottomless pit from which there was no escape.

But then God reminded me that silence can be sweet and gentle, like a refreshing rain if I turn to Him for help in the SILENCE. I don't have to do anything, be anything or seek anything. I am just with Him and He is with me. I crawl up into His lap and He wraps His arms around me.  There I find healing and restoration. He reminds me that His love for me is unchanging and unconditional. He reassures my frightened heart that He is not going anywhere and that I can count on Him to be with me no matter what!

It doesn’t really matter what compels you into the SILENCE Girlfriend.  We all need time under the Juniper tree. It only matters that we come, learning to find healing and restoration in the silence. What does silence feel like for you Girlfriend?  Are you able to be still long enough to be silent?

 

SHARING IS CARING!

Share with us Girlfriend.

PERIMENOPAUSE & RELATIONSHIPS

I just had to share with you all why I haven't blogged this last week.  I have the most incredible family ever.  I just turned 50 years old and to celebrate we spent 5 days on the beach.  I just love the beach.  It's one of my favorite things in life and boy did we have a great time.  The weather was wonderful, the water was warm, the sand was soft but most importantly the relationships that were deepened during these 5 days are irreplaceable.

Since I'm in that time of my life called Perimenopause all my relationships have become more important.  I am realizing life is short. I am recognizing that middle age is arriving without my permission. No matter our stage of life, tomorrow is not promised or guaranteed.

I have always been so busy raising my family that I didn't take the time to develop deeper and more intimate relationships with them or others.  I now try physically to put more time into my relationships, sitting & talking.  Emotionally I am learning to engage those in my relationships to learn more about them.  Spiritually, God has me developing a deeper devotional and prayer time which helps me connect with my family & friends in ways that even I can't imagine.  Connecting on every level.  Are you connecting with others?  What do you do to nuture those relationships in your life?  Sharing is Caring!  Share with us Girlfriends?

WEIGHT GAIN DURING PERIMENOPAUSE

Hey Girlfriends

Did you know that an increase in fat around the waist is often seen in perimenopausal women. Boy, did my waistline increase. All of a sudden I was at my highest weight ever. Some of the increase was due to the fact that I had quit smoking. I was wearing elastic waist pants so I never really noticed the increase until I stepped on the scales one day.

Perimenopause weight gain is just another symptom resulting from your system being out of balance. To restore balance we need to figure out what is going on. We must treat the whole person, not just the symptoms that are resulting from Perimenopause.

Remember there are three parts that must be acknowledged. The physical, the spiritual and the emotional or soul (which includes the mind, emotion & will). We need to address all three parts of ourselves on this Journey of Life if we are to be balanced. Are you neglecting any part of yourself? Do you take the time to nurture all three parts of yourself? Share with us what you do for yourself in any of these areas!!

 

SOOTHING THE SLEEPLESS PERIMENOPAUSE SOUL
 

Hey Girlfriends

Have you figured out what's causing your sleep problems at night? Hopefully your on your way to some sort of plan to cure or treat your symptoms. Don't just sit back and do nothing Girlfriend, take time for yourself, find help for yourself, otherwise your no good to anyone. Share with us what you think may be causing your sleep problems, others need your insight and encouragement.

What did you do last night to help with these Perimenopause sleep problems?  Like I said before: I try to eat a handful of dried cherries every night for the physical effects of my Perimenopause sleep problems.  To easy mind, emotion & intellect "Soul", I distract myself by watching TV or reading a book or magazine.  To calm my Spirit, I prayer, sing or read psalms. We must not neglect the physical, emotional or spiritual "ME" in Perimenopause.  Take time to sooth the Perimenopause soul Girlfriends.  Share with us your plans for a better nights rest.  Sharing is Caring!

WHY ARE YOUR WAKING UP AT NIGHT?

Hey Girlfriends

Do you wake up during the night? I do. I have no problem falling asleep.  Its staying asleep that interrupts my nights.  I can usually go 5 hours before I awaken at night, but usually not any longer.  It's as if I have an internal alarm clock that after 5 hours automatically wakes me up. 

We do have sleep patterns that we go through at night. Anywhere from 4-7 cycles that will last anywhere from 60-90 minutes each. REM sleep or Rapid Eye Movement which ends each cycle is the most important part of our sleeping patterns.  We get the most rest when we enter REM sleep.

What can you do to help with those sleepless nights?  Depending on what seems to be waking you up at night will determine what you need to do to help your sleeplessness.  http://www.stop-being-tired.com/tiredness-and-sleep/stop-waking-up/ gives us a few examples of problems that may be hindering your sleep.  Check it out.  End those sleepless nights or at least take time to help yourself get the proper rest. 

Sharing is Caring!  Any suggestions out there?? 
Share either here or on Facebook at Perimenopause Girlfriends or FB http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002880890957&sk=wall.  Become a Girlfriend!!

PERIMENOPAUSE SLEEP PROBLEMS

Hey Girlfriends:

Are you having problems sleeping?  Another sign or symptom of Perimenopause can be sleep problems.  Many women suffer from sleep problems during perimenopause. You may find it difficult to fall asleep, or to stay asleep. Sleep difficulties during perimenopause can be often caused by night sweats, as well as hormonal fluctuations.  Some nights I flop around like a fish, first one side, then the other, then the other, then the other and wake up to hot to sleep.  Add sleep problems at night to depression and you start to stay awake at night and sleep during the day. Worry and anxiety take up your nights and sleep envelopes your days. 

I am learning to adapt to this these sleep disruptions.  Instead of staying in bed tossing and turning.  I now get up - watch a tv program, read a book or magazine, take a shower, etc.  I have learned that these distractions keep my brain from focusing on things I can't change, especially in the middle of the night.

I am starting to eat a handful or two of dried cherries before bed.  Cherries contain serotonin, which produces beneficial effects on sleep. A study by M. Garrido and colleagues published in the September 2010 issue of "The Journals of Gerontology" performed a sleep study with volunteers. They found cherries had a positive effect on sleep and sleep duration. I'm now sleeping 5 hours continuously.  Not the 7 recommended yet, but I have hope!

What are some of the things that you do to help your sleepless nights?  Any suggestions?  Sharing is Caring.  Share with my Girlfriends!!!!

REALITY CHECK FROM DEPRESSION

Hey Girlfriends:

You know that I have been expressing to you the need to take some time for yourself - "ME".  Well, I figure I better show by example.  Taking time to smell the roses is a great reality check from Depression.  This is a must for my life.  You need to make it a must for your life.  Life will be so much more enjoyable and so will work in the end.

Ever just enjoy your day by spending time with friends?  We went canoeing on the Peace River this week-end.  Seven canoes, 8 miles, 14 friends with 5 hours of wilderness grandeur.  What a great time!!!  I love the outdoors, especially when there are no mosquitoes.  I live in SWFL and this time of year, except for those pesky bugs, is a really great time to combine the outdoors, with sunshine, nature and friends.  What a wake up call or reality check. 

The reality check came from the enormous oak and cypress trees just overflowing with spanish moss.  The turtles taking time to sun bathe on logs with no need to rush.  Water flowing to the point of just carrying your canoe along almost effortlessly.  Fresh air that penetrated your lungs cleansing your mind and body.  Laughter so contagious at times you couldn't catch your breath. Friends that share your passion for life, themselves needing a reality check.

Yes we must work, yes we must be responsible, yes we must take care of our daily needs, but the reality is that life is stressful, life is complicated, life can get out of control so we must learn to balance work with pleasure.  The reality of it all.  If you haven't had a reality check lately make time for one. Your favorite spot, your favorite people, equals a contagious reality check from depression Girlfriends!!!   

NEGATIVE & POSITIVE SIDES OF DEPRESSION

Hey Girlfriends:

Sorry I haven't blogged in a few days but for some reason writing about my depression, caused me to get depressed and not feel like blogging. Go figure.  Focusing to much on my depression gets me in trouble and those fluctuating hormone levels don't help my emotional stability either.  Does that every happen to you? 

I have discovered that I have to properly evaluate my emotions especially when it comes to Perimenopause.  My emotions are unreliable, misleading and will constantly betray me. If someone agitates me I have to evaluate my part and not let angry get the best of me. If my finances are in decline and depression slithers it's way into my heart I have to evaluate if there is something I can do about it.  If a sense of deep weariness saturates my soul and my emotions start to ridicule me by taunting voices shouting, “You might as well give up. It’s no use. Just quit!” I have to stop listening and refocus or I get depressed.  So I am learning to evaluate where, when and why my emotions are present at that moment.

These negative emotions can take hold of you and destroy your life.  Taking control helps you in discarding negative emotions while learning to safeguard and reinforce positive emotions. If you can't find something or someone to reinforce your positive emotions, I'm here for you Girlfriend.  Email me or post a comment.  I would love to hear from you.  Sharing is Caring!!!

"DEPRESSION" MY NUMBER 1 ENEMY

Mood changes including depression, anxiety, irritability, and mood swings are experienced by a significant number of perimenopausal women.  I was experienceing them regularly.  I found out that this was due to my daily production of estrogen.  During perimenopause there are days when estrogen levels are low & days when estrogen levels are high. My daily mood swings would depend on what level my estrogen was at.

Depression which affects about 12 million women in America each year can cause energy levels to plummet; changes in sleeping and eating patterns; problems with memory and concentration; and feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, and negativity.  I would lay in bed for days at a time not wanting to deal with anything.  Dwelling on my problems, crying over them and then sleeping.

Your emotions are to your soul what your physical feelings are to your body. Nobody in their right mind enjoys pain. But if you didn't feel pain, you would be in danger of injury. If you didn't feel anger, sorrow, joy, etc. your soul would be in trouble. Emotions are our indicators to let us know what is going on inside.

Emotions in themselves are neither good nor bad; but how we respond to them can be. Just like you respond to the warnings of physical pain, so you need to learn to respond to your emotional indicators properly.  We usually respond to our emotions by covering over them or ignoring them - called suppression; thoughtlessly lashing out - called outburst expression or by peering inside to see what's going on - called acknowledgment.  I usually suppress my emotions that's where my depression comes from.  Keeping it inside.

Dr. Lara Honos-Webb, PhD, a psychologist in San Francisco, encourages her patients to acknowledge their problems. "Depression is meant to stop you in your tracks because, like physical pain, it's a signal that there's something wrong and you need to fix it," says Dr. Honos-Webb, who wrote Listening to Depression: How Understanding Your Pain Can Heal Your Life. "The social withdrawal that comes with depression can help you change something in your life that's broken--and once you've gone through it, you can be stronger and more resilient because of the experience."

I did change something in life that was broken and that was me.  I started an exercise program, which lead to me losing weight.  The exercise also increased my lung functions so my asthma began to be more manageable.  Those are some of the physical changes that began to take place.  Emotionally I began a searching process - what AA might call working the 12 steps.  Finding out where my co-dependencies were leading me.  And Spiritually I started to feed my spirit.  I began each day with prayer and meditation. Surrendering my life and will to God as I understand Him.

I pray today that you will find this same Peace as you begin to examine your life and take time for YOU Girlfriend!  Sharing & Caring with my Perimenopause Girlfriends!!!!

Transitioning into Perimenopause

Hey Girlfriends

I began to transition which means a change or passage from one state or stage to another.  I started to accept where I was in life- 47 years old and counting.  I started dealing with stress in my life differently.  I started adapting to my hormonal imbalance, even though it was still causing itching, hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings, irritability, sleep disruption, headaches, dry eyes, hair loss, and weight gain. 

My new motto became "You're not getting older, you're getting better".  Better in the sense of making healthier choices.  I realized that I was in the prime of my life and I needed to start to enjoy it, but being so unhealthy was taking the joy right out of life.  Who knows how many years I have left in this life.  Five, Ten, Twenty or maybe even Thirty if I am lucky to live to be 80 and unless I started taking better care of myself, I sure wouldn't make it to 80.  I started taking time for the small things.  Savoring the moment.  All my life has been rush here, rush there.  I was finally accepting time.

I started to take charge of those things that I COULD CHANGE and let go of those things I COULDN'T CHANGE.  Life is not always pleasant but we can choose how we deal with our situations by not letting our situation choose how it deals with us.  It's our choice.  I became proactive.  Stress can cause a lot of physical and emotional problems in ones life and it was wreaking havoc on mine.

I started to keep track of how I felt each day, whether good or bad.  I started to not just take each day as it came, but prepare for it, ready to fight this demon called "Perimenopause".  The fight has not been easy nor is it over.  It's is more defined now.  I am more aware of the rules by which I must play.  The hormonal imbalance during perimenopause is the cause for many of my demons - itching, hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings, irritability, sleep disruption, headaches, dry eyes, hair loss, and weight gain, and many other extreme emotional distresses.  As my estrogen levels roller coaster up and down so do my symptoms, but I can now anticipate more readily the signs.  How did this all happen?  Not overnight but gradually as I came to examine the needs of my mind, body & spirit.  Is it time for some transitioning in your life Girlfriend? Sharing is Caring.  Share with me!!!! 

THE "ME" IN PERIMENOPAUSE

Hey Girlfriends

Realizing that I was the "ME" in PeriMEnopause I started to examine this person called ME!  She was a bright, caring & very loving individual who has been married to her loving husband for what will be 28 years on Friday, September 2, 2011.  She had raised 2 wonderful daughters, who now have each given her two of the most wonderful grandchildren ever.  She has had a prosperous & interesting career, but now she felt disillusioned with life due to this hormonal imbalance called Perimenopause.

Sometimes as women we feel that we don't need to take the time to examine ourselves.  We think we need to be Superwoman and accomplish everything thrown at us on a daily basis, without taking time to replenish ourselves.  Our plate overflows and we're out of control and don't even realize it until we snap.  Know what I mean?  STOP torturing yourself.  SLOW down a little.  Take a PAUSE.  Reflect on Life.  Highlight the good things in life not just the bad. 

Self-examination is defined as an introspective consideration of one's own thoughts or emotions; examination of one's own body for medical reasons.  Wow!  Just what I needed for ME.  The contemplation of my own thoughts and desires while examining my own physical  health.  Introspection; reflection; self-analysis; soul-searching.  TAKING TIME FOR "ME" Girlfriends.  Take time to do the same for yourselves TODAY.  Take Inventory.  Enlighten yourself about yourself.  Share your thoughts and desires.  Sharing is Caring!!!!

HURRICANE FORCE WINDS OF PERIMENOPAUSE

Hey Girlfriends

As the Hurricane Force Winds of Perimenopause continued to blow in my life, the Internet became my source of help.  It gave me information that helped me understand the signs & symptoms of Perimenopause.  I began to gain knowledge about what was going on with my body.  I also began to learn about ME.  I realized I was the "ME" in PeriMEnopause.    This new knowledge & self awareness began to help me be better prepared each time the hurricane force winds of perimenopause blow every month, or should I say each day.

Just as there are different degrees of hurricane force winds (Category 5, Category 4, etc.) there are different degrees of Perimenopause Force Winds.  Granted the winds didn't subside overnight by a long shot but my 1st downgrade in wind velocity came when I was finally able to admit what was going on inside of me.  Sort of like a Perimenopause AA revelation.  Step One:  Admit that I have a problem.  Perimenopause means "menopause transition".  I was transitioning in life.  Signs and effects of the Perimenopause can begin as early as age 35 and although most women become aware of the transition in their mid to late 40s, I was 47.   

Each day I would remind myself that I wasn't crazy, my hormones where just out of whack.  Hormonal Imbalance is what its called.  This hormonal imbalance is what caused those Hurricane Force Winds to blow.  I found out that 75-80% of women experience some or all of the same Perimenopause symptoms I was experiencing.  Only about 15-20% of women do not experience any symptoms and 20% experience EXTREME symptoms.  I was not the only one out there that was losing her mind.  I needed to deal with the fact that I was transitioning into a new phase in my LIFE and I needed my Girlfriends to help. 

As this transitioning process began I started to feel a new kind of freedom.  You know that age old saying, "Your not getting older, your getting better".  This became my new motto.  I stopped beating myself up for all these rushing emotions that I couldn't control and I started to keep track of how I felt each day, whether good or bad.  I started to care about myself again.  This led me to want to help other women out there that are experiencing the same thing & may not know it - may know it but don't know what to do about it - or may just need encouragement to get through it.  Sharing & Caring with my Perimenopause Girlfriends!!!!

EARLY SIGNS & SYMPTOMS OF PERIMENOPAUSE

Hey Girlfriends:

About 2 years ago I started to experience extreme symptoms of Perimenopause.  I didn't realize Perimenopause was causing many of these symptoms  The emotional roller coaster feelings - like nothing mattered - to not being able to tolerate anyone or anything.  I was so disappointed with life.  I was at my heaviest weight and had no energy.  I had recently been laid off from my job, which didn't help my self esteem either.  My asthma had gotten so bad that I was taking medication daily & using my inhaler the maximum prescribed.  I also started to have heart palpitations with a racing pulse.  A bumpy rash would wake me up itching unable to go back to sleep. All these signs & symptoms sent me to my Dr.

My Dr.'s solution was to write me a prescription that I assumed was to help me with the itching at night.  After 2 nights of taking this medicine I started to experience more extreme mood swings then before, so I looked up the prescription's name on the Internet.  I couldn't believe what I read.  It was an anti-depressant that could cause suicidal thoughts & mood swings when initially prescribed.  I couldn't believe my eyes.  What was going on here????  What was I taking?  What was I doing to myself???  Depression me!  How could I be depressed. I had always been such an optimistic, upbeat, happy person.  I called the Dr. who informed me that it would take awhile for the medication to start working properly & I should continue to take it especially since it was helping the itching & sleepless nights.  I started to look deep within myself, Girlfriends!  Was I ever amazed at what I found out about myself!!!!

Are you struggling with Perimenopause signs or symptoms?  Share with me Girlfriends!!!!  Sharing is Caring.    

Sharing and Caring Girlfriends with Perimenopause

Hey Girlfriends:

Just wanted to connect with others out there that are having similar experiences in life.  "Sharing and Caring," as I call it.  My daughter encouraged me to start this blog in order to share my experiences with others, hopefully encouraging others to share with me.  Sharing and Caring by encouraging each other with your stories, advice, humor and more. 

We get so busy sometimes that we forget about ourselves.  This leads us to not taking care of ourselves. In turn we are unable to care for those around us.  I believe that we can help each other by sharing our life experiences and realizing that we are not alone.  We all have a bit of knowledge to impart.

Share with me Girlfriends!!!!